Coach 4 2day – Letting Go of the Past

In this video blog, Martha helps you understand how to reframe your stories to help you let go of the past so you can be more present.

[Can’t see the video above? Watch it online!]

 

20 replies
  1. Michelle Gillette
    Michelle Gillette says:

    This is very helpful guidance. I think that some of us often hold onto the past because it reinforces our self-image as “survivors.”… Without our traumatic back stories we fear that we will lose this status, which we’ve convinced ourselves is a badge of strength. But is the retelling of our survivor stories really breaking us down and hindering us by miring us in the past?
    The topic reminds me of my favorite cartoon …..it shows a centaur laying in a psychiatrists office, on the a couch. The therapist is saying “stop blaming your parents.”
    🙂

    Reply
  2. Wade
    Wade says:

    So… instead of “My family moved around several times a year when I was growing up… I went to so many different schools… I never had a chance to keep any friends and was really lonely.” I can say something like:

    “Growing up, I had a really cool opportunity to experience many different communities, cultures and paradigms due to the amount of places I lived. I learned to make friends fast, and to make good friends fast because I always knew time was precious. I’m most grateful that I had an opportunity to really develop a relationship with myself and learned to delve inward at an early age for the source of ongoing companionship that I wasn’t able to get from the same friends year after year- which is something most children may not necessarily get a chance to do.”

    WOW. I’m gonna start telling that story as many times as I told the old one. I already feel empowered just writing it.

    Reply
  3. Nandy
    Nandy says:

    Hi Martha and everybody,

    This is not only helpful its great. I appreciate your input…I am in practise of it as from here and now. I intend to pass it on.
    Much love
    Nandy

    Reply
  4. Beth
    Beth says:

    Question. You say the number “35” as in after 35 times of telling the story. Was that just a example or is there some significance to that many times? I had read this prior but framed around why venting is unproductive and it included the info about creating new neuropathways but not connected to a number of times.

    Reply
  5. Julie Eliason
    Julie Eliason says:

    I have found from doing Primal Therapy that it is necessary to feel the repressed material. Then it dissipates. It is not a problem of thoughts at all. It is a problem of repressed feelings.

    My wonderful fulfilling life is proof of this method.

    Reply
  6. Marjorie
    Marjorie says:

    Thank you so much for this. I have accepted where I am and what has happened but I needed to think about how to tell my story. I now get to chose that!!! How freeing!

    Reply
  7. Kris
    Kris says:

    Wow. It’s like Martha was listening to the thoughts in my head. I was mulling over the question, “How am I going to get beyond the stuck feeling I have about my relationship with my father who was never around and when he was, he was a narcissist?”
    And here is Martha with the answer. The universe is good. Martha ain’t too shabby either! Thank you.

    Reply
  8. Lora
    Lora says:

    “Suffering comes (mostly) not from events but from thoughts about events” — How awesomely true is this! I’m guilty of dredging up old hurts and “fondling” them.

    Reminds me of a post on meta-suffering. We suffer because we dwell on how much we’re suffering! Again, we’re not being present. That writer’s advice was to feel compassion for the suffering parts. Compassion and acceptance steps us outside of the spiral and fondling and lets us be present again where we can heal by moving forward.

    Reply
  9. Georgia
    Georgia says:

    Martha,
    It is amazing how the right material comes to you at the exact right moment in time.Digging through an old box of photos (36 years worth) to find special memories for my grown children…..and out of Pandora’s box surfaced many old painful hurts from my first marriage. After a couple of days I realized that it really was time to let it all go. “He did me wrong.” is a worn-out-record in my head. Then today I went online and listened to this.
    Thank you

    Reply
  10. Corina
    Corina says:

    This is so true!
    I know from my own experience!!! I totally stopped talking or writing about my past, because it doesn’t help but rather drags back sad, heavy feelings!!!
    Every time I happen to think about a painful moment (there are many) in my past, those old stale memories pull me down.
    That’s good for NOTHING. So I try not to go there anymore.
    LETTING GO is a better solution.

    Recently I read about how we destroy the beauty of NOW by thinking of the past, the future, problems, whatever, instead of just REALLY APPRECIATING THE MOMENT…

    Reply

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  1. […] other day, I came across a video blog post from Martha Beck that addressed this very issue – letting go of the past. Her solution is simple – be […]

  2. […] other day, I came across a video blog post from Martha Beck that addressed this very issue – letting go of the past. Her solution is simple – be […]

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