dog with wet fur lying on doormat indoors

    This month’s lame animal totem is the Skunked Dog.  This is a unique animal, a phenomenon that occurs when two ordinary totems, Skunk and Dog, meet and form an altogether different spirit animal. The Skunked Dog represents flagrantly self-destructive stupidity, intrusiveness, and the inability to imagine the consequences of reckless behavior. Its energy is morose, whiny, unrepentant, and disgusting.

    When a Skunked Dog enters your life, it is a sign that you should close all your doors and windows. THIS IS NOT A METAPHOR. CLOSE THE DOORS AND WINDOWS. The aroma of the Skunked Dog will pervade any area that is not immediately sealed, preferably by a federally qualified hazmat team. If the Skunked Dog is your spirit animal, you have definitely been doing something you were advised against. You can expect to find yourself washed vigorously 73 times, sprayed with two full cans of aerosol deodorant, and exiled to the screened porches of your loved ones’ lives. And it will be your own damn fault.

    The model for this month’s lame animal totem is none other than my beloved and recently skunked canine, Bjorn. ~Martha