Lame Animal Totem: Turducken

Turducken is a dish consisting of a deboned chicken stuffed into a deboned duck, which is in turn stuffed into a deboned turkey. If turducken is your totem animal, you have multiple layers of limp energy with no solid internal structure whatsoever.  

Turducken energy is complicated, overstuffed, and excessive. When Turducken waddles onto your table, you can be sure your goose is cooked on many levels. For example,

you may be trapped in a terrible relationship, unrewarding job, or unsatisfying ménage a trois because you lack the backbone God gave your feathered brethren. Call on Turducken to help you absorb the toxic vibes of your oversharing coworker. Muffle the unkind barbs of your in-laws between your layers like so much cornbread stuffing. Drown the lamentations of your detractors in your rich, succulent juices. They won’t have the strength to protest, because you’re so damn tasty.

2 replies
  1. Marie
    Marie says:

    I found this one depressing with no hint about how to change a life that isn’t working on many levels.

    I adore Martha and get a good laugh at her totem posts.

    However, this one just left me feeling heavy and blah and gave me bad energy I have to completely walk away from.

    Reply
  2. T
    T says:

    God! Martha, you’re freaking PHENOMENAL! if you could only know from the brinks of perimenopausal- anxiety- deaspair your post just rescued me ! I’m laughing my ass off after almost two days of nauseating-knee deep-in-shit-disturbing-thoughts-hot flashes- ANXIETY! You make me want to be you.

    Big hug
    T.

    Reply

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