The Language of Letting Go
(Of All Hope of Sounding Comprehensible)
Well, I’m back in the States again after another amazing trip to South Africa. I had a wonderful time connecting with many of our fabulous SA coaches, helping run the wilderness STAR (Self-Transformation Adventure Retreat) and beta-testing a plan to help some brilliant educators transform a small African village.
It’s always a bit of a bummer to be an American overseas, because everyone else seems to have been brought up in a regular Babel of linguistic influences, and they all speak a little of this, a tad of that. It’s bad enough in Europe, where the local lingos, whatever they are, at least have English cognates. In South Africa, everyone but me seems to speak approximately 80 languages, none of them remotely similar to anything I’ve ever heard.
To remedy this situation, I am once again trying to Teach Myself Zulu. I’m serious. I ordered some Teach Yourself Zulu CDs from Amazon.com and everything.
The first CD is sobering; not only is Zulu from a language family about which I know nothing (Bantu), it’s also a tonal language AND a click dialect. The concept of tones is fine with me, since I’ve studied Chinese. But the clicks are going to be a real challenge. I’ve asked click-dialect speakers to help me pronounce Zulu words, and after a few repetitions they always look at me with despair in their eyes, like people trying to teach a chicken to knit.
Fortunately, my Teach Yourself CDs have a careful description of all the click variations in Zulu. Some South African languages are so click-laden that native speakers sound as if they’re simultaneously talking and operating tiny keyboards with their tonsils. Zulu, I’m glad to report, has only three basic clicks, each of which has four variations. I couldn’t distinguish between the variations to get out of hot-tubbing with Dick Cheney.
Fortunately, the three basic clicks are described in Teach Yourself Zulu with a cozy clarity that makes a lot of sense. To wit:
The first click, says the instructor on my CD (who sounds like Queen Elizabeth with an Afrikaans accent) is “the sound many people make when annoyed.” I know the sound I make when annoyed: it’s a high, whimpering gasp, like a dog who desperately wants something it is not allowed to have. “Hnnng, hnng, hnng, hnng.” Like that. Good. One down, two to go.
The second click, says Queen Elizabeth, is “the sound a cork makes popping out of a bottle.” This is vaguely familiar to me, but I’m at a disadvantage because I grew up Mormon, and never heard a cork popping out of a bottle until I was past the language-development years. So I’ll make the sound of a cap coming off a root beer bottle: “PFFFFfffff.” I figure that will do.
The third Zulu click, according to Queen Elizabeth, is (I am not making this up) “the sound commonly made when urging a horse.” I assume this means a horse that one is riding. The sound I make to urge a horse I’m riding is as follows: “Please don’t run please don’t run DON’T RUN! STOP! STAY! SIT! HELP!
So this is how my Zulu practice dialogue would sound if you translated the meaning into English:
MARTHA’S ZULU PRACTICE DIALOGUE
“Good morning, Queen Elizabeth PLEASE DON’T RUN! So nice to see you hnnng hnnng hnnng.”
“Good morning, Mr. Cheney PFFFfffff. I would like to hnnng hnnng hnnng buy some edible grubs SIT! HELP! such as those I have seen DON’T RUN! on the PFFFfffff Discovery Channel hnnng hnnng hnnng.”
“Of course PFFFfffff, madame STOP! HELP! Would you hnnng hnnng hnnng like a large one PFFFfffff?”
“I’d prefer PLEASE DON’T RUN! two small ones hnnng hnnng hnnng PFFFffff.”
“An excellent PFFFfff choice, madame SIT! STAY! The large ones sometimes pupate hnnng hnnng hnnng if not refrigerated HELP! SIT! PFFFffff.”
And so on.
I just can’t wait to show my Zulu-speaking friends how much I’ve learned! I’m sure they’ll be motivated by the amount of progress I’ve made, in the sense that teaching chickens to knit will suddenly seem easy by comparison teaching me to talk.
So now I must go practice my clicks. A huge thank-you to all my dear friends around the world for their tolerance, generosity, and companionship. The network of the Tribe wraps itself all the way around this delicate planet of ours, and I am so grateful.
September 19th, 2009 at 8:20 am
Those descriptions remind me of my bird book: “A nasal peent, like a small tin horn.” Tin . . . horn? How many living people have heard a tin horn?
Or descriptions of fragrances. Those are always good for a laugh. Lots of words that tell me nothing about the smell.
September 19th, 2009 at 10:07 am
And I thought learning Spanish was complicated!
September 20th, 2009 at 4:23 am
I’ve often thought of trying to teach myself Zulu as well… I’ve never done anything that has made me feel as completely uncoordinated as a new language. Not even bowling. I’m so glad I’m not the only one who is working so hard at humiliating myself! Thanks Martha!
September 20th, 2009 at 7:47 am
Martha, you just crack me up. I’m gonna join you in Africa one day.
September 21st, 2009 at 1:17 am
You should think about trying Sotho as well – I think you might find it easier to learn and more widely understood in SA than Zulu ; )
September 21st, 2009 at 5:40 am
Hi Martha and all
Well, I live in Africa, actually South Africa, in the city of Durban, and I have not as yet learned Zulu, but in the cities most people do speak english to a point, and all business is done in English and Afrikaans.
So pleased Martha, that you enjoyed your trip to this beautiful country, it really is a wonderful country to live in and the climate is great.
In Durban we have a really cosmopolitian society so very interesting.
In South Africa we have 11 official languages, and Zulu is basicially spoken in the province of KwaZuluNatal, so if you learn that it is great for Natal, in other provinces the languages vary considerably. So best stick to English if near towns and cities, and learn Afrikaans as that will get you a long way, especially in the Cape Province.
I would be interested to hear where you actually toured in this country.
I look forwards to hearing from you and anyone who would like to know more of this lovely land.
best regards
Gary
September 21st, 2009 at 3:42 pm
What an amazing life you live! I like believing Im part of the tribe.
As for the clicks, I think that’s awesome. You can really test one’s character with that. I encourage you to become fluent and speak in ‘clicks’ one day at the grocery store – in all sincerity. The people that look at you kinda quirky and actually ASK what the hell your doing (with kindness in their hearts, of course) are completely and totally good.
September 22nd, 2009 at 5:36 am
I agree that our society is so limited in it’s language influences. What a difference it makes to be exposed to other languages/cultures. I live in the midwest and have some very conservative family. One family member said she thought it was awful that spanish is becoming like a second language. This is supposed to be a melting pot so people are supposed to become like us. This was her reasoning.
I love your post. Just this morning I wrote in my journal that I want our family to get back to working on spanish. If you can learn zulu, surely we can make this happen. Best of luck to you and thanks for the motivation!
Marly
September 22nd, 2009 at 3:21 pm
Martha,
I am really trying to “picture” these sounds! What comes to mind is the annoying snorting I hear people (and sometimes myself ) do and a baby sucking on a pacifier! Are any of these sounds close to what you are describing? I hate to discourage you but perhaps the Zulu people have genetically evoled to be able to click with abandon!
September 24th, 2009 at 1:45 am
Martha you crack me up!
I’d love to hear you speak it when you’re done. I’ve no doubt you’ll do it with ease like computer programming. Next SA Coach conference?
September 29th, 2009 at 12:30 pm
Hilarious! This is proof that second languages are best learned before kindergarten. When I’m traveling I notice that no matter what foreign language is being spoken where I’m at I revert to the only other foreign language I only slightly know (German) so then I’m trying to communicate in German with people who speak Spanish. It’s such a confusing world.
September 29th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
Your description & sample conversation is delightful – second dose of ‘laughter yoga’ for the day!
I live in Oregon, & my granddaughters (9 & 4) are in dual-emersion Spanish/ English language programs – both in the public school (3 classrooms) & day care (the little one will be in DE Kindergarden next year) which I think is great – & their accents are much better than mine
Those descriptions of the clicks made sense to me – is that bad or good?? & each takes place in a different part of the mouth . . . . but don’t know that I could include them in conversation . . . tee hee
October 1st, 2009 at 5:18 am
I am so glad I logged on and read your blog. I am a tribe member and I read your blogs all the time, mostly for the laughter. I have read most of your books too. I really enjoy your sense of humour. Today’s one is extra funny because Zulu is my mother tongue. Believe me, Zulu is a difficult language but could be learnt. I must say though that I have absolutely no idea what sounds you were trying to explain above as they sound like nothing I ever heard! And as I have said, Zulu is my native language and I live in the province of KwaZulu Natal, as we affectionately call it here in South Africa, the Kingdom of the Zulus. One thing I want to say to you though, is, go for it. Zulu is actually widely spoken or known throughout SA as well as our neighbouring countries. So when you can learn a few phrases you will have even a more awesome reaction from South Africans. Ofcourse, you can always test your progress on me, lol!
October 6th, 2009 at 3:37 am
I agree totally with Lule . I too am a South African I grew up and still live in the City of Gold -Johannesburg- and speak 5 offical languages out of the 11 which Zulu is one of them . Zulu is widely spoken in SA as a whole and commonly known in other countries in the continent. All the best Martha . Can’t wait to hear you say a word or two when you come back to our beautiful country. Really enjoying reading your blogs.
October 7th, 2009 at 9:47 pm
Made me laugh out loud. I’m just preparing to teach a pronunciation class and the “teaching a chicken to knit” gave me agonies of doubt about my ability to pull it off. Wish me luck.
October 11th, 2009 at 12:33 pm
Bwahahahahah Tehehehehehehe… I’m South African too and really appreciated this article.
October 13th, 2009 at 1:54 am
Sawbona Martha. Language is the thing that makes us truely human. I find learning languages tough although I speak 4 fluently and understand several more. Yes – I am South African and yes I also speak Zulu. Martha I think the amount of fun you are having is evident, but I also sense a new tool coming on. Learning those clicks is probably a awesome way to become present as you consentrate and get your mouth to do new twists and turns. By the way Zulu is also a window to a truely spiritual culture. For instance did you know that the greeting “sawubona” means “I see you” very much like saying “namaste”. Enjoy, can’t wait to welcome you again to sunny SA.
October 29th, 2009 at 12:27 pm
Yay, Martha! We loved having you in SA, Zulu or no Zulu. Loved your teaching of us new “recruits”.
November 11th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
Just finished reading your latest blogs after having finished The Joy Diet and I’ve officially met my daily minimum requirement of 30 laughs within the first part of the blog! Martha, you always make me smile and laugh and enjoy. I can’t wait for your next email to the tribe!
November 24th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
HI larious!
I grew up listening to Miriam Makeba singing and was determined to learn to sing at least part of the song, the one with the Zulu sounds (I think it’s the horse click one). I had never heard the full spectrum of clicks until I saw The Lion King. Now I’m jealous of you. I want to hang out with you and play with the sounds together! Look forward to hearing more of your tongue-knitting adventures.
December 12th, 2009 at 8:34 pm
Hysterically funny! (Are you related to Glen? It surely seems not.)
December 29th, 2009 at 3:58 am
Dear Martha,
As an experienced language teacher, here is my advice: if you really want to learn the language, I urge you to find a Zulu language teacher that uses TPRS (a comprehensible input method).
Otherwise you will be utterly disappointed with the results, thinking it is a difficult language to learn.
Our brains are designed to learn about six different languages simultaneously, and it is a natural process that is practically effortless if you know what you are doing! Comprehensible input is the key!
Just thought you need to know