Category Archives: Relationship & Family

Who’s the Boss: Lessons in Leadership

Few things incite a frothing, wild-eyed rage like asking people to talk about bad bosses. People aren’t just annoyed by poor leadership—they sputter and snarl as they describe their superiors, lusting for the chance to hit that bad boss with a perfect, withering insult. Or perhaps a truck. It’s a little scary, then, to realize - Continue Reading

How to Know It’s Real Love

In a folktale that has been retold for centuries in many variations (one of which is Shakespeare’sKing Lear), an elderly king asks his three daughters how much they love him. The two older sisters deliver flowery speeches of filial adoration, but the youngest says only “I love you as meat loves salt.” The king, insulted - Continue Reading

Projection: What You Spot is What You’ve Got

“There are two kinds of people I can’t stand,” says Michael Caine’s character in the epically low comedy Goldmember, “those who are intolerant of other cultures, and the Dutch.” I love this line, not because it slams the Dutch (for whom I feel great admiration) but because it slams hypocrisy—specifically, the baffling double standards of - Continue Reading

Martha’s Bookshelf: Marriage Rules

This month’s book is a fresh offering from one of my favorite authors in psychology, Dr. Harriet Lerner. The book is called Marriage Rules: A Manual for the Married and the Coupled Up. Those of you who have read Dr. Lerner’s various books such asThe Dance of Anger and The Dance of Intimacy will be happy to hear that - Continue Reading

Video: Coach 4 2day- Divine Discomfort

In this video, Martha addresses the concept of “Divine Discomfort” and then speaks to how to act and react when you feel”powerless” to another’s choice. [Can't see the embedded video above? Watch it online!]

Balancing Act: The Dance of an Unbalanced Life

Here is typical scenario from when my children were younger: It’s five o’clock in the morning. I’ve been awake for about 23 hours, having struggled vainly to fit in writing between yesterday’s tasks: getting the car fixed, taking the dog to the vet, answering email, grocery shopping, driving my kids to music lessons, seeing clients, - Continue Reading

A Fair Fight: Healthy Conflict Creates Healthy Boundaries

Until I was about 30, I spent most of my time trying to make sure that no one ever became upset with me. I tiptoed around disagreements, swallowed my opinion, tried to read other people’s thoughts, and ran away at the slightest hint of discord. Not fighting was ruining my relationships. If this sounds weird to - Continue Reading

Putting the “Fun” in Dysfunctional: Saving Your Sanity This Holiday Season

[Hello, Team! This is a reprint of my article from the December 2002 issue of O Magazine, where I first introduced "Dysfunctional Family Bingo", a staple for surviving any family event. My team put together a bingo card for you and your favorite people to play along. Enjoy and good luck out there!] In the - Continue Reading

Coach 4 2day – Trust After Hurt

In this video blog, I address how you can learn to trust someone after you’ve been hurt.

Seeing Your Emotional Blind Spots

Most of us have such psychological “blind spots,” aspects of our personalities that are obvious to everyone but ourselves. There’s the mother who complains, “I don’t know why little Horace is so violent—I’ve smacked him for it a thousand times.” Or your gorgeous friend who believes she has all the seductive allure of a dung - Continue Reading