The Last Temptation of…You…Insight from Martha

temptationA friend of mine called recently to say, “I’ve been offered a job I don’t want. The money, power, and prestige are huge. I’m not sure I have the guts to say ‘No.’”

If I’d had to, I would’ve shot him in the foot right then—anything to keep him from selling his happiness so cheaply.

Fortunately, my friend prevailed. He rejected all that power and money, knowing it would turn him into King Midas, surrounded by gold, yet lacking the warmth, tenderness, and joy that are his real life’s purpose.

I know many people who are having similar experiences. As they get closer to leaving a dysfunctional way of life, the old way rises up like an abusive spouse shocked by a divorce decree. “Just stay with me!” it begs. “I’ll do anything you want!”

This pressure always peaks before big breakthroughs. Jesus was reportedly tempted with the power to do massive philanthropy just before he started teaching. The Buddha’s wealthy father showered him with wealth and privilege as he prepared to walk into the forest, seeking enlightenment. It may be that many almost-heroes failed similar tests. We don’t know about them, because they never quite woke up.

Don’t let this happen to you.

If you sense that joy, freedom, and love lie in a given direction, go that way no matter what the rest of the world may offer. Peel your ego’s fingers from their grip on illusions like lifelong security (doesn’t exist), your parents’ approval (can’t make you happy) and “the normal way” (disintegrating as we speak).

Your heart is a compass in a chaotic world. Follow it. Resist anything that looks reeeally good, but feels reeeally bad. Be like my friend, brave enough to turn away from shiny objects, and toward the light that makes them shine.

Photo styled and shot by Ken Weiner

Loving The Mess That Is My Best…Insight from Martha

bless this messI’m always pathetically grateful for January, this blank slate of a month, in which I can resolve to clean up the utter mess I made of the holidays. I always mess up the holidays. Combine my logistical incompetence with the social demands of December, and you have the Hindenburg of social faux pas. I could tell you everything I did wrong last month, but then I’d end up in bed eating the Funyuns of Shame for another week, so let us not speak of it.

Suffice it to say that as 2015 begins, I’m taking stock of my life and realizing that I have messed up virtually everything I’ve ever done for over half a century. News flash: I am never going to do life right.

And yet…

By being my incompetent self, I seem to have weeded out the friends and acquaintances who can’t stand my inadequacies. Each year I’m surrounded by more kind, understanding people who seem willing to love the messes I make.

When neurosurgeon Eben Alexander went into a coma and had one whale of a near-death experience, he received three messages:  “You are loved and cherished, dearly, forever,” “You have nothing to fear,” and “There is nothing you can do wrong.”

My New Year’s resolution is first, to do my best in all situations, and second, to stand in the mess that is my best, and remember Alexander’s three messages:  Dearly loved, nothing to fear, no way to get it wrong.

Just contemplating this helps me put down the Funyuns. It makes me suspect that maybe, instead of being here to get things right, we’re here to learn to love the mess that is every human life. If that’s the one thing I get right this year, it just may be enough.

Leaps of Faith…Insight from Martha

Hello from Londolozi Game Reserve in South Africa, where I’m happily ensconced with several intrepid companions enjoying the African STAR (Self-Transformation Adventure Retreat). When I told an acquaintance that I lead seminars in the African bush, she responded, “Oh, my God, how did you get that job?” The long answer is: 1) This isn’t a read more…

Buddy Up and Giddy Up…Insight from Martha

I’m learning to ride a horse, which is a lot like driving a car, if cars were nervous and unpredictable and expressed their anxiety by leaping suddenly sideways and accelerating uncontrollably whenever the breeze picks up. Also their shock absorbers were made out of jerky. And they bit. So I sit on this huge beast read more…

Freedom From Fear…Insight From Martha

Lately I’ve become thoroughly exasperated with the part of my tiny brain that insists on continuously creating fear. Fear of dying soon. Fear of living too long. Fear of being alone. Fear of being spread out too thin between loved ones. Fear of drought. Fear of flooding. Fear of change. Fear of things staying the read more…