Martha Beck

Reptile Reminders

My most recent thumbs-up from Nature.

So I just finished the third an African STAR (Self-Transformation Adventure Retreat), and as always, I am gratitude soup. There’s always a new way in which Real Nature brings people home to their real nature. We all get messages from the wilderness, as soon as we begin asking for them. I just got one I want to share with y’all.

Years ago, I created a coaching system based on a model of change that was like a caterpillar’s metamorphosis. It had four stages of change we go through whenever something forces or tempts us to release the status quo. Stage 1 is death of the old order, and birth of the new. In Stages 2-4, we create new life structures and identities based on what’s been born.

In recent months, however, I’ve seen change happening so quickly there’s no time for solidity. We have to learn to live in Square 1, the least enjoyable square for most people. We need to get used to continuous death-and-rebirth.

There’s an old Taoist recommendation for surviving such a roiling river of change: “You go up when the water goes up; you go down when the water goes down.” If we’re in tune with our true nature, the times when “the water goes down” are periods of play—full of productivity, creativity, doing. Times when “the water goes up,” letting us bob to the surface for air, are the periods of rest. They’re for stillness, receiving, being.

If you can relax, this is a delightful rhythm of “do-be-d-be-do.” However, if you’re filled with fear—as your reptile brain or “inner lizard” tends to be—constant change feels like a series of horrific beatings interspersed with frustrating stagnation. Quieting those lizard-brain fears, relaxing into the flow, is the key to happiness.

I visualize this as an infinity loop—you know, the mathematical symbol for infinity, which looks like a figure “8” laid on its side. I wanted to show you this, but don’t get access to computer graphics as I write this.

Happily, Nature sends us what we visualize.

The illustration at the top of this blog is a harmless-to-humans snake who just arrived outside my bedroom door with a dead lizard in his mouth. He’s arranged himself in an infinity loop as if giving me a thumbs-up (given that he’s short a couple of thumbs). I can almost hear him saying, “Yes! An eternity of rest and play, free from useless fear, is how to thrive these days.”

In fact, it’s our true nature. And Nature wants to help.

Challenge: This Week, Be A Hero

This is how real heroes usually feel.

I’m headed into the African bush again tomorrow, with a bunch of people who are no doubt asking, “What the hell they’ve gotten myself into?” I have a challenge for you to tackle while I’m gone. In five days, when I come back (assuming I don’t do something foolish involving enormous fanged animals) I’d love to hear how it goes.

Here’s the thing: it’s never the right time for an adventure. In every culture’s hero saga, the first event is that the hero hears a “call to action.” The second event isn’t a fearless leap into the fray. It’s the hero’s refusal of the call. That’s right; every hero from Odysseus to Xena, Warrior Princess, hears the voice of destiny and sprints immediately the other direction.

You see, no one can afford a hero saga. No one has the time. No one is free from other obligations. The right moment to do something heroic feels a lot like never.

We all hear the “call to action” from time to time, and all of us—all of us—say “no.” What differentiates heroes is that they change their minds and head back toward the dragon’s lair, shaking their heads and thinking, “What the hell have I gotten myself into?”

When this question appears in your life, congratulations! You may well be headed toward your ultimate purpose. At the very least, you’re having an adventure. And you don’t have to go to Africa; your next heroic task may be to have a baby or change jobs or stand up for yourself. The key is to follow the call—the impulse to do something extraordinarily inconvenient and demanding.

Here’s my challenge for you: If you want to find your passion, know your life’s purpose, meet your soulmate, or feel intensely alive, don’t look toward the fun things that fit logically into the flow of an easy life. Ask yourself, “What am I running away from?” Whatever that thing is, turn around. Walk toward it. Face it and conquer it, or die trying.

Most of the time—in fact, every time but one—you won’t die But you will question yourself every other step, get exhausted, be scared half to death. You’ll regret accepting the call a thousand times. Only when it’s over will you truly realize how grand your adventure felt, and what an awesome story you have to tell.

Take the challenge this week, and see what happens. I’ll meet you back here, having met a few more heroes myself, the hear how it all works out.