The Two Angers

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There are two ways to be angry. One can ruin your life. The other can save it. During these difficult months and years, we’ve all probably felt both kinds of anger—which is fine, but not if we can’t tell one from the other. We may mistake destructive anger for constructive anger and end up creating a world of hurt for ourselves and others.

I learned this recently from an old friend of mine. I mean an oooooolllld friend. Like, he recently turned 756. But for someone so aged, not to mention so dead, he’s been a vibrant source of guidance for me my whole life. His […]

How to Succeed in 2021: Do Less, Fail More

Wait, is it over? I think it’s over. Let me check … yes, 2020 has officially left the building! We’re free to plan something better!!

Of course, nature doesn’t care that we humans think of January as the beginning of a new year. COVID-19, climate change, systemic racism, and other deplorable realities aren’t going to check their calendars and stop in their tracks.

Nevertheless, just the idea of a fresh slate is psychologically powerful. Making New Year’s resolutions is a great way to reset our minds and hearts—especially after a year like the one we’ve just had.

I’ve spent most of my [...]

The Way of Integrity is Almost Here

Exciting news hot off the presses, possums!

You’ve heard me talking about my new book for years . . . well, on April 13th it will finally land on a shelf near you! Publishing is a slow business, but I’m thrilled to have this book’s arrival on the horizon at last.

This book, The Way of Integrity, is so close to my heart. It represents the culmination of all that I’ve written and taught and everything that feels truest to me at this moment in my life. It’s my first self-help book in eight years, and I had SUCH a blast [...]

Becoming a Samurai Sword in 2020

Arnold Toynbee famously defined history as “one damned thing after another.” So far, 2020 has taken this to a whole new level—and it’s not over yet. More and more of my friends and clients are asking me the same questions: How do I keep dealing with this, month after month, when it just won’t let up? How will I ever get back to normal?

If you’re wondering the same thing, here’s my answer: You won’t. The normal you remember, the normal you were, is gone forever. And that’s okay. In fact, if you know how to allow “one damned thing [...]

The Four Levels of Listening

Here’s the single best word of advice I’ve ever learned: Listen.

When I was young and confused, trying to figure out how the world works, I had to listen. When I traveled the world and encountered new cultures, it was even more crucial to listen. Learning sociology meant learning more deeply how to listen. In the wilderness, trackers showed me how to listen. As a coach intent on helping people, my first task is to listen. As I train coaches, I find myself saying it over and over again: listen.

Right now the world seems to consist entirely of huge changes [...]

How to Seek Sanctuary in a Time of Chaos

Every few months I have a recurring dream: I’m walking through my home and notice a door I’ve never seen before. I open the door to find an enormous room—a cathedral, actually—with sky-high ceilings and glorious stained-glass windows. My reaction isn’t surprise, but recognition. “Oh, yeah!” I think in the dream. “I knew this was here all along! I just forgot.” Along with the memory of the space comes the memory of its function. The cathedral in my dream is there to offer sanctuary.

A lot of us could use a little sanctuary right now. As I write this, cases [...]

4 Key Elements of Resilience and How to Master Them

When I talk to people whose lives have been upended by the global pandemic, it’s almost like watching some massive, monstrous bully beating on them. The disease itself can be horrifically damaging, even for those who survive it. Sheltering in place has created more unemployment than the Great Depression. Almost a third of a million people have lost family members. All of us have lost the familiar rhythms of activity that once filled our time and lifted our spirits.

And we have no idea how long it will last.

Blow after blow, the punches just keep coming.

Pondering all this, I recently [...]

Martha’s blog

The Two Angers

How to Succeed in 2021: Do Less, Fail More

The Way of Integrity is Almost Here

Becoming a Samurai Sword in 2020

The Four Levels of Listening

How to Seek Sanctuary in a Time of Chaos

4 Key Elements of Resilience and How to Master Them

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