Getting Rid of Stuff…Insight from Martha

Ok, so here is the deal: All this cheesy law of attraction stuff actually works—at least when you do it in a non-cheesy way, which I’ve been trying to learn and teach my whole life.
The big thing I’ve been trying to create for the past little while is to purchase a property that borders a national forest where I can live closer to nature and do the kind of coaching I love best. As recently as a year ago, this looked utterly impossible to me and to everyone who knew me well. But I just kept slapping together vision boards and otherwise assuming it would happen, and now it’s happening. Part of me is completely unsurprised, and another part of me keeps gasping, “WTF just happened?”
As part of creating a simpler way of living, I have found myself feeling a massive urge to de-clutter, to get rid of all this stuff that seems to arrive in my house of its own free will. I’ve noticed that many of my Team mates (if you don’t know why I’m calling you Team mate, read my latest book) are feeling the same urge. So I recently began using an awesome coaching tool for de-cluttering. I encourage you to use it.
As I teach my coaches, our living spaces are basically three-dimensional portraits of our inner lives. You can’t de-clutter your living space without de-cluttering your inner life and vice versa. This is why it can be easy to throw away the clutter in a friend’s house, but feel overwhelminging to do the same in your home.
So we will start this exercise with something called a Pray Rain Journal. I got the idea from Master Coach Bridgette Boudreau, who learned it from Master Coach Jeannette Maw. A Pray Rain Journal is basically a written vision board in the form of a small journal. Get yourself a very small empty notebook. Each day, write a page as if you were living your ideal life and are journaling about it. Use present tense and write about all the wonderful things that are happening and the ramifications of every event.
When I began doing this, I found myself encountering resistance—resistance I hadn’t even known was there. I had mental knee-jerk reactions like, “That can’t happen!” or “And then something bad will happen.” As you reread your Pray Rain Journal, make a mental note of any negative blurbs that pop into your mind. This is the clutter you must clear away. I attacked my negative clutter by focusing on a single thought at a time—for example, “That can’t happen.” Then I forced myself to think of 50 reasons why the things I want actually can happen. I knew my resistance was softening when I could read my Pray Rain Journal without any inner constriction or resistance. That’s when I suddenly began de-cluttering my physical space. My house wasn’t a mess to begin with, but clutter had begun creeping into shelves and drawers.
Don’t try to de-clutter everything at once. Choose ONE drawer or ONE shelf or ONE flat surface in your home. Clear everything out or off of it. If you are a natural-born de-clutterer, you’ll find yourself throwing away or donating items you don’t use. If, on the other hand, you are more a natural-born hoarder type, you might feel clutching anxiety when you try to let go of an outmoded object. This reflects an unwillingness to let go of outmoded beliefs as well. As you do the thought work, your anxiety and resistance will ease up.
In the meantime, create what I call a Limbo Carton. Limbo, as you may know, is where some religions believe God puts souls before deciding if they will go to heaven or to hell. Give your Limbo Carton to a loved one who is not afraid to de-clutter. Together, choose a date six months in the future. If you have not asked for anything in the carton during those six months, your loved one will then take everything to the donation center without even mentioning it to you. Nobody ever said you had to do this alone!
All this lightening of stuff feels to me like part of the miracle that brought me my new place to live. An old survival saying is, “The more you know, the less you need.” As your own dreams materialize, I suspect you will come to know that you don’t need much. Just your tribe, your inner guidance, and the evidence that tells you that you really can create a magnificent life.




It is really funny that I read this today. Yesterday, I started going through all my resources that I keep for myself and my job. I found a book on program development that is over 25 years old. After some review and ambivalence it ended-up in the keep pile. Reading, “when you try to let go of an outmoded object. This reflects an unwillingness to let go of outmoded beliefs as well. As you do the thought work, your anxiety and resistance will ease up,” brought on an ah ha moment.” I will do the work to figure out what outmoded belief is that I am hanging onto. I know it has something to do with my never getting that awesome paying position that I interviewed seven times for – always the same answer from human resources, we are giong in a different direction. lol, maybe time I went in a different direction.
Thank you Martha. I have called you to my part of the country. Hope to see you soon.
I really appreciate both you and your work. Thank you so much.
Amazing that I saw this today, I have been thinking about this all day. The last house my husband + 2 kids lived in was 3200 square feet, where land was cheap and houses were cheap. Now we live where land is expensive and our rental house is 1800 square feet. We’re trying to buy a house, and almost made an offer today on a 1700 square foot house – but didn’t because it was “too small”. All day, I have been asking myself why 1700 square feet is too small for 4 people. I don’t think it is. We just need less stuff.
I raised my 2 kids with my husband in a 1200 square foot house. When the kids were young I longed for a 3200 square foot house. Now that they are sucessfully grown and have flown away with all their stuff, oh how we love our little house!!
Thank you so much for all your wonderful insights. Like Kristin, I keep thinking how great it will be to meet you someday
Great advice Martha!!!And just what I needed to get on with removing clutter around my house:) Thank you!
I have spent the last two and half weeks on a “Shed the Shame Vacation” – thanks for the ‘naming’ Lianne – Coach Extraordinaire – when I was talking with her about what I wanted to do on this vacation, go to yoga, eat right, have lots of time outside, read a few books, rest – and unpack my boxes (having moved) four months ago – and we got to talking about getting rid of clutter – she said that it has been said that the state of my home is likely a reflection of the state of me/my body/my soul…it was startling. Now that I’ve been juicing for almost two weeks, going to a few yoga classes, having had a few long hikes, read 5 books, and have taken 11 carloads full of donations behind me, I finally have a home that is not only tidy and clean, but with everything in a ‘spot’ AND I feel Clean with an oddly interesting sense of Freedom! Thanks for this Great next step Martha – this journally idea is perfect!
I wanna be in your tribe!
Thank you for this interesting post! These days I’m trying to de-clutter…
I found you through Susannah Conway in her Something for the Weekend post. I just love your de-clutter post here. Just what I’m needing now and been contemplating for years!!
That’s really weird . For the last few weeks I’ve had the urge to clear out and minimalise my life and just stop having so much stuff.
I feel a need to be mentally unfettered and clear to receive more into my life on a spiritual experience and learning level rather than material . Great Post
Thanks Martha
From a fellow anxious ADDer and Coach
Great article Martha! I love when the urge to purge comes over me. It feels like a primal urge when it shows up. As I clean out clothes from my closet and drawers, a vibrational shift takes place. It can be such transformational work and it’s right under our nose. Thanks for the reminder!
Thanks!
Tisha
[...] sehr wahrscheinlichen Umzug im kommenden Winter wäre noch Ausmisten angesagt. Dazu passt dieser Artikel von Martha Beck ganz [...]
Go Team! I hope you read your own comments, Martha, because I really want you to see some photos of a white impala I saw in the Kruger Park this month. I think you are the one person who would most understand how amazing it was to see such a mythical creature!
[...] through the first 1/3 of my big, white roll-out sheet I dove in to more Beck. This time, she wrote that, All this cheesy law of attraction stuff actually works—at least when you do it in a non-cheesy [...]
[...] And then I came across Martha Beck’s blog … Getting Rid of Stuff…Insight from Martha. [...]
Thank you for the uplifting thoughts and the idea to change your life! I needed this tonight. I see the hope for the future.
Getting Rid of Stuff..
Awesome advise! And, like the previous readers I too, had been thinking about de-cluttering and getting rid of stuff when I came across this article.
I love Martha’s advise, always right on! I wish she had more of her books on audio CD format.
De-cluttering is a wonderful experience. Sometimes I think I pre-clutter simply for having stuff to de-clutter later. There is nothing like the satisfaction of a de-cluttered closet or drawer or….basement…or garage…or email address list.
OMG….I think I do the same thing Ginny…I didn’t realize I was doing it…but I let my computer space get completely cluttered..and I am a NEAT freak with everything..my cans all face forward in my cupboards…I have the same exact hangars for all my closets…I could go on and on…thank you for enlightening me to the fact that I purposely (subconsciously) clutter certain spaces…only to declutter them later;-)
Dear Martha,
I’m a mother of an almost 2 yr old with DS and am reading your book, “Expecting Adam” and cannot understand how you can use the “R” word or include it in your vocabulary? You refer to your son as a “R”, worry about him wearing “R” clothes, etc. I am absolutely astounded by this. I’m sure you are aware of how degrading, dehumanizing, hateful and hurtful this word is. Yet, you use it. A lot. I’m always shocked by the ignorance of people who use this word but am even more stunned and sickened by your use of it – a mother of a child with DS.
My criticism isn’t about being “PC.”. The use of the R word is demeaning. It’s an adjective used in a demeaning way and you use it repeatedly in your book. I just don’t understand this and feel like vomiting every time I read it in your book. Sadly, I feel as though it takes away from your story.
Liz
Martha, I’ve always liked the idea of “random gifts,” but this is my experience: My pal Linda and I decided to drop little gifts and the occasional bit of money. We had great fun finding appropriate things to drop, and sometimes we even wrote little notes saying “If you found this, it is a gift to you.” Well!!! What happened is that people TOOK THE THINGS TO “LOST AND FOUND” departments or, in some cases, we’d find them rain-soaked and sodden exactly where we left them. So we quit doing it. Once we wrapped a little packet of quarters and even THEY were turned in to “lost and found.” Go figure….
[...] in August, Martha Beck wrote a column about getting rid of stuff. Since I’d been madly tearing through my house, dumping books and old clothes into bags, and [...]
Martha. I am moving in 7 days from a 3000 sq. foot house to a 1500 sq. foot house. My husband passed away 5 yrs. ago and I am going to set myself up in a little house so that my son does not have to worry about me. My husband said that he would send me signs from heaven and the buyers of the house have the same name as we do. My husband loved his stuff so I am donating all of it to Habitat for Humanity and Big brothers and Big Sisters. I figure that he can”t be mad at me for donating his things to charity. Time for new beliefs and a new life. Thank you for all of your wonderful insights. Love Shauna
Hi Martha,
I love you dearly and I wish your posts were not written in almost invisible ink and 8 point type. To read your posts I have to enlarge the type on my computer or cop and paste into Word. But of course they are SO worth reading and I do this. Please consider black 11 point type. I know it’s not as stylish but…just sayin
Any ideas on how to achieve the decluttering freedom of a single person with full reign to create their space when you live with 3 teenagers and a husband who holds onto everything!!
We all know what it is like to get teenagers to keep their rooms tidy!