Social Media for Technophobic Coaches

August 16th, 2010

Yo, tribespeople, this is Martha! I hate computers, view the Internet with profound mistrust, never surf the Web, and am terrified of my own email. Yet I have a successful on-line business. How is this possible? Because I use a few small tricks to help me create an on-line presence despite my technophobia.

Because I don’t want this to be a yucky sales pitch, I’ll tell you my favorite things right now, in the video below. Then, if you want, please head over to Coach Spot and sign up to join me for my “Social Networking Media for Technophobic Martha Beck Coaches” seminar. It’s live on Thursday, at 5:00 PM Pacific Coast time, 8:00 PM East Coast Time.

In the seminar, my networking coach David Scott Jones will help me teach you the basics of creating an on-line presence using easy, simple, time-saving tricks. He’s also going to teach me to do on-line live broadcasts simply and easily. There will be a question-and-answer period using new video technology that you’ll learn as we go.

This is the next step for all of us who want to gather our Tribes using the new “magical” technologies. Come one, come all, it’s going to be a (very valuable) blast!

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Live Like a Lion, Love!

August 6th, 2010

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As I return home from almost 30 straight days on the road, having visited three continents, five countries, and three US states, I’m adding a new mascot to the bevy of beasts that have taught me how to live. The great things about being human is that, though we can’t quite equal the strengths of any other animal, we can do at least a half-assed imitation of any. (Yesterday on the History Channel I saw a blind man who echolocates like a bat, clicking his tongue and “reading” the sound echoes that bounce back to him from various objects.)

My current role model is Felix Leonis, the African lion, but not for the usual reasons. People have been identifying with lions forever because they’re big, strong, and have great hair. Me, I’m into their actual habits, which aren’t nearly as dignified and industrious as most people think.

First of all, lions sleep 20 hours a day. EXCELLENT! In Africa I met a wonderful Team member named Georgina Hamilton (now nicknamed Geo) who told me about a seminar she attended to learn lucid dreaming. For 10 days, the participants got up, ate breakfast, heard some instructions, and went back to sleep. Lunch, lecture, more sleep, dinner, much more sleep. What a concept! Listening to Geo I resolved to get serious about sleep—as aggressive as a challenged lioness, if need be.

Other than snoozing, lions have two major occupations. First, they hang out with their loved ones. I’ll never forget watching two leonine brothers—massive animals with manes like rock stars—wrap their front legs around one another and set to purring like tractor engines. Imagine two NFL nose guards with the social inclinations of Teletubbies. This I intend to imitate with anyone I love, and frequently.

The final lion occupation I intend to adopt is being silly. On the Masai Mara a few weeks ago, I flip-cammed these two youngsters playing with their food. Notice that they don’t actually eat the poor dead thing (at the height of the wildebeest migration, these lions were surpassingly well-fed) but use it for goofy hunting practice. You can practically hear them saying, “I will kill you some more! And more! Like this! You’re dead! Now you’re dead again! You are soooo dead this time!”

If you find this ghoulish, I understand. It takes some time to get used to the circle of life on the African savannah. But like a lion, I’m going to let you process that on your own. I’m feeling a little drowsy.

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What I Did on My Summer Vacation

July 30th, 2010

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I’m BAAAA-aaaack! Like a fungus between your toes, just when you think you’ve gotten rid of me, here I am again. I’ll post a few videos over the next few days to tempt y’all into coming back to Africa with me. One of my favorite things was fostering orphaned baby elephants in Kenya.

These little guys lost their mothers to poachers, or fell into wells, or were attacked and injured by humans. Now they have the most loving human “dads,” guys who live with them 24/7, even sleeping next to them. They live in a national forest, but come “home” twice a day to get their bottles. This event is open to the public, but thanks to the fabulous J’Lein Liese, our group got to have a private session, where we gave them bottles (mine nearly pushed me over, just being affectionate) and the keepers told us to rub their heads, especially behind the ears, which is what their moms would do if they were alive.

If you want to foster one of these baby elephants, click over to http://www.sheldrickwildlifetrust.org/asp/fostering.asp and spend $50. You get on-line updates of the ellie you choose. Then you can come to Kenya with me next time and give yours a bottle!

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The Team Is Everywhere!

July 16th, 2010
This guy could be more like you than your own relatives.

He may be more like you than your relatives.

As you may know, I’m convinced that there are a bunch of us on earth at this point in history who are here to save the world. Of course, every generation has saved the world in its own way, but here in the 21st century there are so darn many humans that we literally have to change unless we want cockroaches to outlive us all.

Fortunately, all over the world there are people–ordinary people, people without fame or wealth–who feel this same mission. They’re starting a transformation in the way humans live and think. They’re doing it person by person, Team member by Team member. And it’s time we all began working together.

Tonight in Nairobi I met two Team members who have the same passions and aspirations as a middle-aged female life coach from suburban America. One is a Ugandan genius who creates home-made solar panels to bring sustainable, eco-friendly energy to impoverished people; the other is a thirty-something Maasai “elder.” He wants to start a small eco-tourism business to help his people earn a living by protecting wildlife, such as the elephants who compete for drinking water with the women of his village.

The video quality of the clip below is awful–you can barely see these wonderful guys–but it’s enough to show that the Team is not just idealistic middle-class Americans. It’s brave people all over the world, doing small things with great love (to quote Ma Teresa). These guys are just like any other Team members. We just happen to’ve been born in different places.

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Straight From the Elephant’s Mouth

July 14th, 2010

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So it’s like this: The human quarters at Londolozi game reserve are cordoned off by a thin electric wire, which doesn’t do much to discourage antelopes and monkeys—or for that matter, lions and leopards—but which does keep elephants from wandering in.

At least, that’s the idea.

More than a year ago, one bull elephant figured out how to pull down the wire and get into the camp, where he binges on the lovingly tended flower and vegetable gardens. He became such a regular visitor that the Londolozi residents took to calling him “Night Shift.”

Months ago, in an attempt to keep the elephant at bay, the staff added additional wires to the fence. Night Shift learned to uproot fence poles. Gaps in the fence, where cars drive through, are protected by metal grills on which most animals won’t walk; Night Shift has recently been seen daintily tiptoeing—all six tons of him—across the grills. Night Shift has caused tens of thousands of dollars’ worth of damage, and though he’s never harmed anyone, an African bull elephant looming up in the dark at close range could seriously freak someone out.

On Monday I was discussing this problem with Bronwyn, Boyd, and Shan Varty, three-fourths of the family who run Londolozi. Not far away, workers were reinstating several fence poles that Night Shift had merrily flicked aside the night before. At their wits’ end, the Vartys were wondering whether they should have the elephant relocated to some other part of Africa.

This is one reason I love the Vartys so much: when I suggested that we call a highly intuitive friend, who has been known to give accurate readings and predictions, they went for it. Within minutes, we’d made the call and Night Shift was coming in loud and clear. Here is part of the conversation that followed, verbatim (except for the gales of laughter that followed every message Night Shift supposedly sent).

Friend: “He wants his own camp.”

Us: “Could you please tell him that’s not feasible?”

Friend: “He understands.”

Us: “Will he please stop breaking in at night?”

Friend: “No. He loves people. Londolozi is his special project.”

Us: “Ooooh-kaaaay. Can we come to some sort of compromise?”

Friend: “He wants a sweet spot.”

Us: “A ‘sweet spot’? What the hell does that mean?”

Friend: “Oranges.”

Us: “He wants oranges?”

Friend: “He LOVES oranges. Also people.”orange

At this point, the other one-fourth of the Varty clan, patriarch Dave, walked onto the veranda. “Did you know Night Shift is in the front garden?” he said casually.

Without a word of consultation, everyone dashed into the kitchen, grabbed some oranges, and rushed out to the front garden. Sure enough, there was Night Shift, eating bushes.

Boyd began bowling oranges toward the elephant, applying plenty of elbow grease to get them through the tall grass. Don’t try this at home. Generally, you should expect wild elephants to react with alarm, if not aggression, should you start hurling objects toward them. Not Night Shift. He pounced on the oranges like a kid grabbing candy from a broken piñata, popping them into his mouth and scrunching joyfully, the way you might eat a Tic-Tac.

When we ran out of oranges, Night Shift wandered away (and I grabbed a camera to shoot the picture above). Our intuitive friend contacted us to communicate one more message: “Thanks!”

The next morning, Night Shift had uprooted no fewer than eight new fence posts. But as I lefft Londolozi, instead of stocking up on snub-nosed bullets or tranquilizer darts, the Vartys were assembling a big mesh bag filled with oranges. They’re trying to decide where to place them so that monkeys and baboons won’t get them and Night Shift will recognize them as fair trade for his leaving fences and gardens where they are. I’m sure they’ll figure it out in the end, because this is Londolozi, a term that in Zulu means “protector of all living things.”

For the camp’s sake, I hope Night Shift moves on quickly, or at least modifies his “special project” to make it less expensive for his beloved humans. But for my own sake, I’m thrilled he was here, busting in, making trouble, and requesting oranges from people just zany enough to grant his wish. As always, this is one spot where magic is not suppressed, and that makes me believe my own wishes can be magically granted as well.

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Turtle-Step Up! (And Up, And Up…)

July 8th, 2010

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This is one of those days when I know exactly what I have to do, and I know that it will take about 179 hours, and I truly believe I have to do it all today.

I bet you have a lot of those days yourself. These days, we all do.

Tomorrow I head off once more for Africa—a continent where everywhere you look you can see a thousand things that need to be done, and you know how to do many of them, and they will take about 568,234,662 hours, and you desperately want to do them all today.

“We cannot do great things,” said Mother Teresa, “only small things with great love.”

On days like these, I take heart from the little video below. It was filmed at the ranch where my friend Koelle and I sometimes run horse-whispering/coaching workshops. The family of angelic people who run the ranch set up a little obstacle course, including a climbing rope. Walter, the patriarch of the clan, told me no woman had ever climbed it. Koelle promptly zipped up it like a monkey on espresso, but when I tried, I got nowhere. I mean No. Where. I just dangled from the end of the rope like a big lumpy meat-tassel.

Walter’s wife Karen, a gifted massage therapist, she told me my upper back muscles were weak. Well, that explained my utter lack of rope-climbing ability and the fibromyalgia pain I still felt in my neck and shoulders. I came back to near-normlcy after 12 years as a veritable invalid, so I set out to climb that rope, turtle step by turtle step. Some days I’d work out to strengthen my back, and many other days I had to let the muscles rest and recover. After six months, when I went back to the ranch…well, see below.

We can all break up any goal into many teensy-weensy turtle steps. No matter what you’re facing today, whether it’s churning through a ridiculous “to-do” list or trying to fix Africa, take one little step up. Tomorrow, take another one. Inch by inch, you’ll lift yourself all the way up.

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So You Think You Can’t Dance: WHO CARES?

July 3rd, 2010

Once again yesterday, I got a lesson from my son, who’s been practicing ballroom dance in his man-cave.

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Wonder of Wonders, Miracle of Miracles

July 1st, 2010

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So my eye doctor said I wasn’t crying enough. Actually he said I had “chronic dry eyes,” which he attributed to living in a place with zero humidity and temperatures up to 120 degrees. Dry heat, my Aunt Fannie. The surface of the sun has dry heat, too; you don’t see astronauts frolicking around up there. The sun doesn’t rise in Phoenix during the summer; it heaves itself over the horizon like a steroid-enhanced brute from the World Wrestling Federation, beats the crap out of the landscape for 15 hours, then grumbles off to the big Locker Room in the Western Sky to plan the next day’s assault.

Even living here, I had to marvel that my eyes were too dry, because I remember entire decades—you may have had some yourself—when I wondered how it was possible for my eyeball-related ducts to create so many tears. I still tell people what I once told myself: when you have a great loss or sorrow, it’s like facing a lake of tears, and you have to let them all flow through your eyes before you’re finished grieving. Well, it appears all my former weeping (my former husband, bless him, used to call me “Puddles,”) was actually great for my eyes. When I was pregnant with my son and knew he had Down syndrome, I recall walking through Harvard Yard and noticing that with my eyes full of unshed tears, things did seem sharper and clearer.

I’m sure my time to cry will come again, but for the past several years, my eyes have been unusually dry, to the point where, as I said, it became a medical problem. I left the optometrist’s office clutching a prescription for eye drops and begging The Force to please please fix my eyes so I can continue to see. Here’s the thing: lately when I pray for something, I tend to get something even better. When I went back to the eye doctor, he not only said my eyes were healthy, but mentioned I was a good candidate for laser surgery to correct my vision.

Now, I’ve worn Coke-bottle glasses since second grade. There hasn’t been a day in living memory that I haven’t stumbled around in the morning, pawing for my glasses and feeling vulnerable to being attacked by bears, since I wouldn’t see them coming until they were approximately four inches away. That is, there wasn’t such a day until yesterday, when I woke up with 20/15 vision—in other words, better than normal.

I am astonished. Completely amazed. It’s as if Jesus stopped by (or Moses or Buddha—pick your miracle-worker) in a set of optometrist’s scrubs. I can’t stop staring at this beautiful, beautiful world.

All of this is making me think about people who have normal vision their whole lives. Do they wake up stunned and celebratory about the gift of eyesight, as I believe I will for years to come? It’s also me consider all my other “normal” gifts: arms, legs, ears, kidneys, lungs, toenails…. I’ve spent plenty of time focusing on my body’s flaws (do you do the same with yours?). The time has come to sing halleluiahs about the miraculous things that are right with my physical form (try it!). The gratitude brings tears to my eyes—which, it turns out, is really good for them.

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Flipping the Switch to a Happier Life

June 25th, 2010

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Lately I’ve been happily devouring Chip and Dan Heath’s book Switch: How to Change Things When Change Is Hard. The Heaths’ advice is enlightening on many levels, and has added some gangbuster techniques to my coaching tools. See how you like this one.

The Heaths suggest that it’s crucial to look for “bright spots” where we’re already succeeding, then replicate those results in other areas. Most of us look for “dark spots,” in our own lives, in our loved ones’ lives, in the world generally. As you may know, the reptile portion of our brains is tuned to danger, and the storytelling brain area takes ANY evidence of danger and perpetuates it through our personal Top Ten Tunes o’ Terror.

I’m a danger-story champion, but today I’m following the Heaths’ advice, so every time a dark spot turns up in my own mind, I’ll find a corresponding “bright spot” to replace it (or at least balance it). I’ll call this “Flipping the Switch.”

Step 1: Flip the Switch By Finding Brights to Balance Darks
Dark Thought: This morning, I didn’t get through to the woman I was coaching.
Bright Spot: But I got through to her husband.

Dark Though: I barely talked to my son while I drove him to his workout.
Bright Spot: Adam thrives on silence, and he’s psychic, so he knows I love him.

Dark Though: There are so many new technologies, and I can barely send email.
Bright Spot: I did eventually learn how to email.

Dark Though: I haven’t finished my book.
Bright Spot: But yesterday I wrote 11 pages.

Step 2: Replicate the Bright Spots
Now my job is to replicate the conditions that caused the bright spots to occur. I’ll see what led to my successes, then extrapolate to other situations, which I basically manage by saying “Hmm…” Like this:

• I got through to my male client because I put very little pressure on him. Hmm: Put less pressure on clients.

• Adam’s psychic, so he knows I love him. Hmm: I sort of believe almost everyone can sense love at a distance. Hmm: Try just beaming love to my many adored ones, and see if they feel it.

• I learned how to email because I made a friend who preferred communicating that way. Hmm: When I want to learn a computer skill, I’ll get a friend who wants to learn it with me.

• I wrote 11 pages yesterday because I set an “action trigger”: while at the gym I pictured walking home, drinking a smoothie, and then writing. Hmm: Action triggers (visualized sequences of behavior) work. I’ll set another one to get me working on my book today. Let’s see…I’ll eat some Key Lime pie, sing along with three feisty Sheryl Crow songs, then write.

Having done this exercise, I’ve stopped brooding about my failures and begun seeing spots-bright spots. I feel way more motivated already. See if “flipping the switch” like this can work for you!

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Is It Time For You to Take Some Minimum Days?

June 22nd, 2010

Dog walking.

Dog walking.

This week I recalled a procedure that once regulated my life. I call it “Minimum Days.” A more accurate title would be “adrenal burnout recovery days.” Lately, I’ve come to believe almost everyone needs it from time to time.

Here are some symptoms of adrenal burnout, all of which were ragingly evident for me these past few weeks. See if they describe you, too:

• You wake up every morning not because you’re rested, but because “it’s time.”
• Absolutely nothing sounds interesting except sleep. If you won the lottery, it would make you want a nap.
• People keep genially commenting, “Hi! You look like crap!”
• You keep misplacing important things, such as your spouse and children.
• You have no will to live.
• Walking the dog sounds like climbing Everest.
• All you want to eat is Boston cream pie.
• All your Master Coaches keep telling you to REST, DAMMIT!

Okay, that last one may be specific to me. At any rate, this weekend, after getting mild cases of yellow fever, hepatitis, typhoid, polio, and lord knows what else from the vaccination lady here at Phoenix Travel Health (I believe this woman won the 2010 Most Pessimistic Person On God’s Green Earth Award), I went to sleep for almost three straight days. I got up only to eat Boston cream pie and whine intermittently.

This is what I mean by a Minimum Day—a day when you do virtually nothing but rest—and I do believe mine just pulled me back from the brink of exhaustion. These days, life is like a treadmill that’s lost its regulator and just speeds up, minute by minute. When things get too crazy, just jump off. Sleep and then sleep some more.

It took three Minimum Days to get me back to something like normalcy. It may take you one day, or five, or ten. This may feel exorbitant to you-mine did to me. But in my mind and heart (though not my driven ego) I believe humans were to sleep when it’s dark, to watch the wind in the leaves, to nap in the heat of the day. We long ago lost this natural pattern. Minimum Days help take back a bit of what we forfeited by becoming work- and clock-obsessed. I’ve been preaching about them forever. Now, having practiced them, I’m urging you all over again: go to sleep. Have some pie. Then go to sleep again. I’ll see you when your will to live returns.

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