Fang and Buddy: Tuning into your Inner Wisdom

This very day, two individuals are vying to be your personal adviser. The first, whose name is Fang, dresses in immaculate business attire, carries a briefcase full of neatly organized folders, and answers all e-mails instantly, via BlackBerry. In a loud, clear, authoritative voice, Fang delivers strong opinions about how you should manage your time. Fang’s résumé is impressive: fantastic education, experience to burn.

The other candidate, Buddy, wears shorts, a tank top, and a rose tattoo. If you question the professionalism of this attire, Buddy just smiles. When you ask advice on a pressing matter, Buddy hugs you. There [...]

Foul Play

In 1666 a Dutch physicist noticed that two pendulums mounted on the same board always ended up swinging at the same rate. He called this “entrainment.” It affects any oscillation, including breathing, heartbeats, brain waves, and turkeys.

Yep. Turkeys.

Yesterday I decided to meditate on my front porch.  As I settled in, a large delegation of wild turkeys scurried up the road that leads to my bird feeder. They do this every morning, like commuters, so I barely noticed them. I was using the mantra, “I am infinite stillness.” As I repeated this, feeling all spaced out and blissed, I opened [...]

Lame Animal Totem: The Tick

You never know when Tick will enter your life, so undress carefully and check all your crevices as soon as possible after reading this. When Tick does crawl up your pant leg and into your life, rest assured that this totem animal will help you take advantage of others while inspiring revulsion in all you encounter.

Tick energy is intrusive, draining, and waaaaaay too intimate. Let it inspire you to show up at the homes of friends you barely know, asking to stay for an indefinite period. Eat their food, borrow their clothes, and follow them into the bathroom to [...]

Yes? No? Maybe? How to Make Decisions

“I’ve got to commit to this relationship or end it,” said Tessa, sounding a little desperate. “I can’t go one more day without making the decision.” It was clear that she really meant this…just as she had the first time I heard her say it, eight years earlier.

Tessa is prone to ambivalence, a torturous condition that simultaneously pulls and crushes us between incompatible alternatives. Though it can make us say laughably absurd things (“I’ve known for eight years that this can’t go on one more day!”), ambivalence feels anything but funny. If you tend toward indecision or face a [...]

Make Your Own Pocket Eden

I’ve written a lot of delirious prose about my experiences in Africa, and in my new home where the back yard is a national forest. If I could, I would take everyone to these gorgeous places that restore my spirit. It frustrates me that I can’t. Recently, however, I’ve found a spot as wondrous and magical as any safari I’ve ever taken—and this one you can replicate, if you want. I highly recommend it.

Here’s what I did: I put a bird feeder and a little fountain outside my bedroom window. I face that window when I meditate. While I’m [...]

Lame Animal Totem: Skunked Dog

This month’s lame animal totem is the Skunked Dog.  This is a unique animal, a phenomenon that occurs when two ordinary totems, Skunk and Dog, meet and form an altogether different spirit animal. The Skunked Dog represents flagrantly self-destructive stupidity, intrusiveness, and the inability to imagine the consequences of reckless behavior. Its energy is morose, whiny, unrepentant, and disgusting.

When a Skunked Dog enters your life, it is a sign that you should close all your doors and windows. THIS IS NOT A METAPHOR. CLOSE THE DOORS AND WINDOWS. The aroma of the Skunked Dog will pervade any area that [...]

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