Few hamster owners realize that their pets carry the powerful energy of intense passion and artistic aspiration that for some reason always ends up being considered amusing and adorable. If you doubt Hamster’s depth, please click this link to observe the moving death throes acted out by these talented little nuggets of cuteness.

If you actually watched the video, you now know how hard hamsters work at the craft of acting, bringing depth, energy, and true pathos to their performances. As if that isn’t enough, consider the piano prodigy at this link.

True, the Hamster isn’t playing the piano, because that’s NOT POSSIBLE. Seriously, this is precisely the kind of limited, bigoted thinking that keeps Hamsters—and Hamster people—from achieving the acclaim they deserve.

If your totem is the Hamster, you too have an intense, fiery, artistic nature that just never gets taken seriously. You have paintings in you, and screenplays, and music, and soliloquies! You also have no physical skills or training to back them up, but who cares? Let Hamster help you throw caution to the wind! Although it won’t go far, because Hamster has tiny little arms and not much of a windup. So let Hamster help you throw caution to the floor! Then lie down on top of it (caution, that is) and brood about how no one understands the torment of your sensitive artist’s soul, you darling li’l thing, you.