Lame Animal Totem: Tardigrade

tardigradeThe Tardigrade is a truly wondrous creature: an eight-legged microscopic beastie also known as the “moss piglet” that can go without food or water for more than ten years, live in the vacuum of space, stew in boiling water, and keep waddling onward, good as new. 
Tardigrade energy is the totem of people who just will not freaking STOP, the spirit animal of all who believe everyone needs to hear about their gruesome dental history, their endless arguments with ex-spouses, the exploits of their moss-piglet children. 
Which reminds me: Tardigrade is also the totem of Things That Aren’t As Cute As You Think. When Tardigrade blubs into the mucous membranes of your life, ask a non-Tardigrade person if your favorite rhinestone sports bra really fits in at the elder-care center, how coworkers genuinely feel about your compulsion to massage them, and whether anyone but you thinks it’s adorable when your puppy screams like a child. If the message is STOP, do so, even though Tardigrade will tell you to go on, and on, and on, and on….

1 reply
  1. Heather
    Heather says:

    Oh my God Martha! These Lame Totem Animals are the absolute best. You must publish a full color photo book of them and put them in Barnes & Noble. I’ll buy one right away if you do. How about some Lame Totem Animal meditation and Tarot cards, too, please, while you’re at it? These are hilarious. I’ve been reading each one quietly with a snort and giggle this evening… but then Tardigrade finally did me in. I can’t stop laughing.

    Lame Totem Animals: The Book.

    NOW please or soon.

Comments are closed.