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“Someone can only hurt you if you believe it’s true.”
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Thank you so much for this, Martha! I am very sensitive to criticism and this video explains a lot.
Martha, You are looking very beautiful these days! I loved this question/answer video, and eagerly anticipate new postings. This one struck home to me as I had a situation last week where a stranger really trounced me about something I did and accused me of not being honest, not being spiritual, and being more or less – a thief. After several days of that stinging – pain, I came to realize that my only transgression was not knowing the right protocol to follow and not bothering to find out. And so, as Oprah says – “When I know better, I do better”!
Good lesson…..thank you
Arlene in Atlanta
This was a good one. In some down time, I”m going to make a list of some of the words that have wounded me and draw out some truth statements beside it….That always proves to be an interesting exercise. yikes.
I have two thoughts, though. I read an article in last month’s Psychology Today, “A chic critique” by Karen Wright. She writes that w/o criticism. or feedback ‘we’d be stuck in the stone age, unable to learn or succeed. Learning relies in large part on recognizing, then analyzing and fixing our mistakes.” I wonder, what’s the difference between an insult and essential feedback? Our hypersensitivity to feedback can make them both look the same.
Also, I wonder, does this apply to folks who are overly sensitive and who are easily wounded?
Hi Martha! Love your blogs. Just want to say I LOVE that color on you!! xoxo shannon
Ok. I can see where you are comming from. How about if you’re at a party and a friend asks you over of a holiday dinner the next day and makes much of really wanting you there; then calls the next morning and says ” I have ta Un-invite you to dinner” does not offer any more information. What about feeling hurt and confused then? It’s not like I hinted or asked to be invited in the first place. The feeling of being hurt passed in a few hours. I just figured it had nothing to do with me, but it did hurt.
When someone ‘hurts’ me, I know right away that I am reacting to something that’s being triggered but that doesn’t stop the pain and I fully allow myself to feel it and let it pass. The part about hurt staying till you believe it is powerful. I love me some MB and Byron Katie to help dissolve it. Happy days!
Thanks so much for this video. It helps me understand something more about something you said in the truth will set you free class with Oprah. I have a mental illness. I have a great fear of coming out about it. I actually limit my life a lot and am afraid to go meet people because I am afraid of being rejected because of my mental illness.This video has helped me greatly understand how to not let other put me down. They can only do it if I let them. Thanks, love, Nina.
Dear Martha, now that you’ve put it in words… It’s so true…!!! Thank you, my Beautiful Guru. I cherish the things you say.
Happy New Year!!!!
I’ve been taking your advice- about taking your passion- and making it pay.
It’s starting to work beautifully.
Before, I’d always feel guilty about it- or fearful- but now I feel “There’s nothing to fear but fear itself”, plus- if I put my whole heart into something- there’s nothing wrong in getting paid for it. It’s so true, it turnes out…!!!
By the way- I’m a gardener ( horticultirist). I used to paint ( like yourself) – but few people told me I was good nothing – so I stopped. This was 20 years ago… Young and impressionable. I wish I had your advice 20 years ago… ( I’m 45 now).
Anyway- you’re a gem and an Angel.
Have a beautiful New Year!!! same to your kids!!!
Hello Martha, I liked very much this message, because it supports the very thing I say to my adult Son and Daughter at times…and that is, when people verbally attack you, and label you in some way that is highly inaccurate, I tell them, “it’s just that persons opinion and not your truth!” “You know the goodness in you and who you are!” Again I love hearing and reading your messages! Thank you, so much! Namaste’
Important to know this….but what makes us believe those false beliefs to begin with?
Hi Phyllis –
Lots of things can cause us to believe our negative belief systems – primarily our familial, societal, and cultural influences, which varies from family to family, society to society, and culture to culture. Also negative beliefs can be a reinforced by past traumatic experiences or our instinctive “lizard brain” fears in general. The oldest part of our brain is wired to broadcast survival messages to keep us safe from physical attack and motivated to feed and shelter ourselves and hasn’t evolved the way our culture has, so when we are afraid of lack or feeling attacked, our biology can reinforce those unfounded fears. Martha talks about the “lizard brain” extensively in Steering by Starlight, but also talks at length about the effects of social conditioning on our belief systems in all of her books, particularly in Finding Your Own North Star.
Hope this helps!
It is midnight 2012 in South Africa and when I opened my email I received the BEST gift for 2013. Your video link in my email.
For the stage where I am in my life this is the most uplifting message.
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