Be ‘Home’ for the Holidays

When I was a child, I loved the holidays for the stuff—candy, cookies, advent calendars, and, of course, presents. As a young adult, I wanted perfect situations: everyone feeling good, looking good, doing good deeds. This got so stressful that by midlife, I decided that I’d just focus on finding peace. I called it going Home for the holidays—not home as in a geographic location, but my real Home: a state of calm, relaxed being.

I didn’t expect much from this new practice of Homing, just a little stress relief. But it turned out I’d stumbled into some real holiday magic. [...]

How to Make Big Decisions

I want to tell you a secret about that really big decision you’re trying to make. You know the one. Ready? Here it is: You have already made that decision. 

Say what?

Your brain may not have told you yet, but it’s true: You don’t have to decide. You just have to access the part of your mind in which the decision is made.

I’ve coached thousands of people through big decisions, so I’ve seen how it works. If you can get that brilliant, busy brain of yours to calm down, you’ll find your answer waiting peacefully inside you. It’s been there [...]

Dysfunctional Family Bingo

The holidays are high season for life coaches. Here in the States, the festivities start with Halloween and go on all the way through New Year’s Day, when we drag ourselves out of bed and recommit to normal life. At any time during those weeks, the pressure is on: we must be happy while spending time, money, and energy we don’t have on people who may or may not deserve it.

I’m not trying to “Bah, humbug!” the season. I love the holidays. Thanksgiving, in particular, is one of my favorite times of year. But I’ve had my share of [...]

What You Need to Know to Age Beautifully

I was lying on the floor with my eyes closed, diligently practicing a yoga posture called shivasana (“corpse pose”). Some say that this is the hardest to master, but I thought I was doing pretty well. Not to boast, but yoga teachers often take me for dead no matter what pose I’m attempting.

Anyway, as I lay there a random idea came to me. “How strange,” I thought, “that this body had three children.” Then I realized that it actually hadn’t. Since all our atoms are replaced every seven years, not an atom of the body I have now was present when [...]

In Order to Move Forward, We Must Learn to Be Still

“I’m sick of people telling me I’m going to save the world,” said my friend Eliza over coffee. “I know they mean it as a compliment, but it feels like one hell of a burden.” A charismatic activist, thought-leader, and author, Eliza (not her real name) gives people hope and confidence when both are in short supply. No matter what horrific mass shooting or eco-crisis comes up on the news, Eliza finds a way to help people believe everything will be okay. Her energy seems boundless. It isn’t.

“I’m just so tired,” she told me. “I’ve been doing so much [...]

Getting Unstuck

Right now, I’m beginning—all right, planning to begin—several new projects. I’m going to launch a new fitness routine, declutter my closets, and start working with a new editor on my current book. It’s all hugely exciting, and I’m feeling so… stuck.

I don’t mean literally, of course. I’m physically free to start any of these projects at almost any moment. But my mind has been working overtime to convince me otherwise. I keep getting bogged down in what internet guru Zefrank calls “the terrible space between zero and one.” I know I want to do some awesome things—I can almost [...]

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