“If only I were free enough/ rich enough/ young enough/ supported enough to do what I want, my life would be perfect.” 

I’ve heard some version of this sentiment from literally thousands of people. I’ve also noticed that what these people lack is almost never the freedom, money, youth, or support they think they need. What’s really holding them back is simply that they don’t know what they want.

This is how most of my coaching conversations start out:

ME: So, what do you want to experience during your life? CLIENT: Yeah, that’s the question, isn’t it? ME: Yes, and I’m asking it. What [...]

Oak Titmouse is a small bird the color of dry bark, with black eyes and a jaunty little crest. Unfortunately, its name was chosen by middle-school boys high on cough syrup, and made official by sex-starved geek biologists. Now the Oak Titmouse is stuck with a label no one can get past.

If Oak Titmouse flutters into your life, you are probably holding onto moronic traditions from your family of origin, e.g., “Of course I beat my children. I’m Talullah Heiniehumper, and that’s how Heiniehumpers roll.” Titmouse teaches you to close your claws tightly and proudly around all that baggage.

Titmouse [...]

Are you looking forward to the season ahead with shivers of anticipation? Or just shivers? Here are 6 steps to save you untold aggravation, angst, time, and money by persuading you not to do the things you don’t want to do this holiday season.

List Your Holiday Traditions

Take a few minutes to write down every holiday custom you feel you should follow. Start with family patterns, but don’t end there. Offices and friendships have their own traditions.

Choose to Enthuse

Looking over your list, visualize each activity. Notice how your body reacts. Do you tense or relax, feel like smiling, snarling or [...]

Clam energy is exuberant, witty, wise, hilarious, and brilliant, but no one ever realizes this, because Clam keeps it all inside, out of fear that someone will steal its intellectual property.

When Clam maneuvers its way into the bouillabaisse of your life, play your cards close to your vest. Closer! CLOSER! No one must know of your genius, or they will filch all your best ideas! (Which you’ll get around to developing any day now.)

If Clam is your totem, your inner life is teeming with good intentions, none of which you ever act upon. You’re possibly the world’s best singer, [...]